74 Quotes & Sayings By Brian Spellman

Brian Spellman is a writer and father of three. He runs a blog and a podcast called The Good Life. He also has a new book called "The Good Life" which is available on Amazon.

1
All porn stars on Animal Farm are equal but some porn scenes are more unequal than others. Brian Spellman
2
Psychosis is person less persona, raving sincerity. Brian Spellman
3
If the mind fits, shrink it. Brian Spellman
4
My son, I don’t believe in God, prayer, afterlife or miracles. You may disagree with me on all of these. I’d prefer that you agree and reserve rebellion and independence over important issues instead. Brian Spellman
5
When all seems hopeless, cross your fingers and stick with the secular prayer. Brian Spellman
6
Self talk and self prayer: When you audible the first and correctly interpret, the white coats correct you in a nuthouse. When you audible the second and misinterpret, the dinner coats swear you to an oath in the White House. Does this make you nuts too? Then outfit your sanity seeking political asylum at my house. Brian Spellman
7
I hate feeling hate but feeling nothing feels worse. Brian Spellman
8
If you see me standing on my head, I'm trying to cheer you up with my frown. I need my honesty, you my pleasantry. Brian Spellman
9
They safely cured the world of sadness, wiser the Pfizer for it? Brian Spellman
10
Fifty percent of life is ninety percent indecisive. The rest is confusing. Brian Spellman
11
I awoke to a daymare. Life. Brian Spellman
12
Where have you been all of your life? Brian Spellman
13
Life is short unless agony is long. Brian Spellman
14
If you only go around once in life, then why has that one gone around more than once? Brian Spellman
15
Kindness knows no kind. Brian Spellman
16
There is a meaning of life but I've been sworn to secrecy. Brian Spellman
17
Ultimate meaning is meaningless. Meaning meaning means everything else. Brian Spellman
18
If you want to commit suicide why tell anyone? They'd ruin everything. Brian Spellman
19
Months after my wrists ripping, a talk therapist referred to the act as self-hatred. Until then nobody had said this to me. Did everyone presume that I already knew so? People say it all the time. It’s safer to draw this conclusion. Throw in cowardice and you have an insulated public. I was not enraged at all. I was panic stricken. How could I hate myself for wanting to stop such physical sickness and terror? Mine was an act of caretaking, compassion, love. You cannot share this insight with therapists because they think such encourages recurrence. Have you ever stopped diarrhea with a prayer? If you have to go, you go. If you have to die, you die. Brian Spellman
20
Babies are never suicidal. Hard lives, not hard boiled eggs do that. Brian Spellman
21
You can't stop a man from stopping himself. Brian Spellman
22
A bind is when you're quadriplegic, suicidal about that and unable to persuade your best friend to murder you. Brian Spellman
23
Billions of years before twelve step groups, God committed shotgun suicide. Today wall scrapings share His gratitude stories. Brian Spellman
24
There's an ad for every vice. That's advice. Brian Spellman
25
I learned to smile, avoiding happiness advice. Brian Spellman
26
I've been coerced into free will. Brian Spellman
27
I forgot what I was going to think. Brian Spellman
28
Honesty is the best insurance policy. Brian Spellman
29
The brain is unreliable. It relies on lies. Brian Spellman
30
When to others it's not lying. It's privacy. Brian Spellman
31
Dad got furious when we lied to him. No, Dad got furious then we lied to him. Brian Spellman
32
Our atheist thoughts go out to his family following their loss. Brian Spellman
33
An apple a day feeds the tapeworm to stay. Brian Spellman
34
I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I'd write a check to buy it back. Brian Spellman
35
It's not how I take tragic news but how I make tragic views that unscrews me. Brian Spellman
36
I love objectivity when mine. Brian Spellman
37
I'm all groan up in America. Brian Spellman
38
I can't prove it yet know it when I seem it. Brian Spellman
39
My life is so bad that it's worse than it really is. Brian Spellman
40
If life was fair ... one third of the people would comprise of judges and lawyers ... one third of police and prison officials ... and one third of legislators ... and one third more to make the other three thirds make any sense at all .... Thank goodness for no fair. Brian Spellman
41
Dreams don't come true, they are true. Brian Spellman
42
A broken shoelace can strangle me. Brian Spellman
43
Okay, you won our shitty little argument. Pass the world. Brian Spellman
44
The first casualty of war is casual wear. Brian Spellman
45
Peace ain't worth fighting for. Brian Spellman
46
First, let me finish. Then interrupt. Brian Spellman
47
Don't stay in this now. You'll fall behind. Brian Spellman
48
The fine line between genius and madness is a punch line. Duck, you idiot! Brian Spellman
49
If sensing so badly of yourself you also sense a need to make me sense that, then I sense sadly that you cannot make better sense … sadder still if you cannot sense my sincerity. Brian Spellman
50
If you sense so badly that you also sense a need to make me sense that, then I sense sadly that you cannot make better sense ... sadder still if you cannot sense my sincerity. Brian Spellman
51
I recovered from recovering so no longer celebrate not doing bad things to defend myself as good. I added new bad for good measure. Brian Spellman
52
It's no longer time to take sides for or against race, rather sides against those who still do. Brian Spellman
53
To Americans, either/or means both. Brian Spellman
54
I can't answer you in a nutshell. We wouldn't fit unless we saw the same shrink. Brian Spellman
55
I'm nostalgic for a better tomorrow. Brian Spellman
56
Nostalgia was never what it used to be. Brian Spellman
57
All surgery and no makeup make Jack a dull girl. Brian Spellman
58
He who laughs last laughs ... doesn't get it. Brian Spellman
59
I say there is no darkness but ignorance, " said William Shakespeare. How would he know, he knew everything? Brian Spellman
60
He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword ... unless he's a general. Brian Spellman
61
Spare the rod and spoil the Memorial Day rotisserie. Brian Spellman
62
I was accused of always acting superior. Always means being, not acting. Brian Spellman
63
My secret to maintaining a youthful appearance? Immaturity. Brian Spellman
64
I finally decided what I want to be when I grow up - late. Brian Spellman
65
Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear so don't look and they'll stay farther away than you expect they would. Brian Spellman
66
Mom lied. The crust is the shittiest part. Brian Spellman
67
We contradict all for which we stand for we all stand for the lie the whole lie and nothing but the lie so help save our lying asses. Brian Spellman
68
I can't name just one example. Then there's only one. Brian Spellman
69
A good night's sleep counts healthy sheep. Brian Spellman
70
Our archaeological ancestry lost hair while growing sweat glands to reduce panting in the hot African sun. One outcome evolved the origin of our speech. Another conquered our ability to shut the hell up and listen. Now? Politicians grunting "On the Origin of Speeches" past one another. Brian Spellman
71
With good morality first candidates you'll get bad candor, bad ethics, bad loyalty and bad morality - lastly bad odor will surface to save the day if you maintain good optimism like I do. Brian Spellman
72
Feed a squirrel and he'll leave you alone every day. Brian Spellman
73
Ignorance is bliss. Wisdom is blisters. Brian Spellman